Light

HEy everyone!

I am doing much better today! Now Elder Kama is having a few struggles so we are working through some of that. Not really sure what to do yet. I know how he feels though so I am just being patient since he was patient with me. All is well.

We had some good news happen this week! Dusty wants to get baptized on Christmas day! The other night, the day after we ate thanksgiving at the Bemis's house, we encouraged Sister Bemis to invite Dusty to baptism in our next lesson. We told her how to do it so she wouldn't feel pushed. Well the next day, we found out that Sister Bemis called Dusty on the phone and invited her to baptism! We were really surprised. That doesn't happen but she wants me to baptize her. She is so appreciative that we and the Bemises came into her life. She too has been struggling with depression. She is such a good person. 

This week we have been prepping for the LIght the World Christmas Initiative. We made our own pamphlets to give to people at church. So far it has had a good impact. We gave a card to the ladies at the compassionate clothing donation place that we helped sort clothes at this morning.

I am really grateful for this opportunity to serve like Christ did for 25 straight days. I think it will be the most meaningful christmas of my life. I really like the whole concept of light and darkness. i've experienced quite a bit of darkness lately. It's been a combination of lots of things--stress, higher expectations, new responsibilites, the cold weather, this kind of depressing town, etc. but I can attest that no matter how dark I feel inside there is always days of light around the corner. I'm doing good right now. I plan on staying this way. I also am trying on not being a perfectionist. One thing that can cause discouragement is "all or nothing" thinking. You make one mistake and all is lost. It feels like you have to just start over again. But I've come to learn that if I make a mistake I just have to move on and not dwell on it so much. I mean, it is so easy to make a mistake as a missionary! We have hundreds of rules. It is impossible to keep them all perfectly. I really like what I studied this week by J. Devn Cornish :
 If you will really try and will not rationalize or rebel—repenting often and pleading for grace—you positively are going to be “good enough.”

I really like that because when living the gospel it may seem like sometimes there is this certain point we have to reach before we can ever be happy. I've learned though that I will never be happy with that mentality because I will continually fall short. So I just have to try my best. I am reminded of a great quote by Brad Wilcox:

"When a young pianist hits a wrong note, we don’t say he is not worthy to keep practicing. We don’t expect him to be flawless. We just expect him to keep trying. Perfection may be his ultimate goal, but for now we can be content with progress in the right direction. Why is this perspective so easy to see in the context of learning piano but so hard to see in the context of learning heaven?

Too many are giving up on the Church because they are tired of constantly feeling like they are falling short. They have tried in the past, but they continually feel like they are just not good enough. They don’t understand grace

There should never be just two options: perfection or giving up. When learning the piano, are the only options performing at Carnegie Hall or quitting? No. Growth and development take time. Learning takes time. When we understand grace, we understand that God is long-suffering, that change is a process, and that repentance is a pattern in our lives. When we understand grace, we understand that the blessings of Christ’s Atonement are continuous and His strength is perfect in our weakness"

I know God loves me and that he has provided me an unlimited amount of chances to repent. The gospel is true.

Elder Soutas